I once dated a guy who talked during sex and I don’t mean “dirty talk” I mean he would try to legitimately converse with me while we had sex. Some of my “favorites” include:

  • "Do you like Oreos? I bought some earlier if you want any. They’re double-stuffed.”
  • "Did you watch the Dodgers game today? Not very impressive."
  • "I tried calling you last night. Did you hear your phone ring? No? Is it on silent? Oh, OK. I thought so."
  • "There was a lot of traffic earlier. It took almost 45 minutes to get here. A car was on fire. I think someone died."
  • "I have to pee. Have you ever had someone pee in you? I’m just wondering, I’m not gonna do it… Do you think it would feel warm? I’m just asking!"
  • "Have you ever listened to Bloodhound Gang while having sex? Just curious."


liking 2,197 facebook pages in 2008 is my biggest regret


I just saw this text post that said *quietly opens a bag of chips at a funeral*

And I got really confused because I imagined this person opening a bag of frozen chips at a funeral and cooking them

But then I remembered



Six months in to 2014 an I still get the year wrong.


my heart says yes but my mom says no


didn’t mala find the tooth lookin’ thing in the wheel

why is stiles working on the engine

that’s not how cars work


I’ve only been horny once in my life and it never stopped