zubat:

I once dated a guy who talked during sex and I don’t mean “dirty talk” I mean he would try to legitimately converse with me while we had sex. Some of my “favorites” include:

  • "Do you like Oreos? I bought some earlier if you want any. They’re double-stuffed.”
  • "Did you watch the Dodgers game today? Not very impressive."
  • "I tried calling you last night. Did you hear your phone ring? No? Is it on silent? Oh, OK. I thought so."
  • "There was a lot of traffic earlier. It took almost 45 minutes to get here. A car was on fire. I think someone died."
  • "I have to pee. Have you ever had someone pee in you? I’m just wondering, I’m not gonna do it… Do you think it would feel warm? I’m just asking!"
  • "Have you ever listened to Bloodhound Gang while having sex? Just curious."

shialebuffalo:

liking 2,197 facebook pages in 2008 is my biggest regret

sorry:

I just saw this text post that said *quietly opens a bag of chips at a funeral*

And I got really confused because I imagined this person opening a bag of frozen chips at a funeral and cooking them

But then I remembered

Americans…

allivm:

Six months in to 2014 an I still get the year wrong.

joshhutchercat:

my heart says yes but my mom says no

tacoposey:

didn’t mala find the tooth lookin’ thing in the wheel

why is stiles working on the engine

that’s not how cars work

erectrode:

I’ve only been horny once in my life and it never stopped

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