I once dated a guy who talked during sex and I don’t mean “dirty talk” I mean he would try to legitimately converse with me while we had sex. Some of my “favorites” include:
- "Do you like Oreos? I bought some earlier if you want any. They’re double-stuffed.”
- "Did you watch the Dodgers game today? Not very impressive."
- "I tried calling you last night. Did you hear your phone ring? No? Is it on silent? Oh, OK. I thought so."
- "There was a lot of traffic earlier. It took almost 45 minutes to get here. A car was on fire. I think someone died."
- "I have to pee. Have you ever had someone pee in you? I’m just wondering, I’m not gonna do it… Do you think it would feel warm? I’m just asking!"
- "Have you ever listened to Bloodhound Gang while having sex? Just curious."
I just saw this text post that said *quietly opens a bag of chips at a funeral*
And I got really confused because I imagined this person opening a bag of frozen chips at a funeral and cooking them
But then I remembered
didn’t mala find the tooth lookin’ thing in the wheel
why is stiles working on the engine
that’s not how cars work